How To Train Your Dragon Madlibs
by Willowbranch
Summary: Some madlibs that my friends and I did. I'll try to post more as often as I can. Comment and enjoy!
1. Hiccups Ode To Astrid Part I

**These are some Madlibs my friends and I did based on How To Train Your Dragon. Some might repeat to some degree, but they'll always have different things in them.  
If you have any questions on who or what something might be, don't be afraid to ask or comment!  
Enjoy!**

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Hiccups Ode To Astrid Part I

Roses are red, sweaters are blue. Astrids as tough as a hair, and shes delicious, too. When we first met, I knew it was love. She was like a bag sent from above! So smart, so strong, a gross source of power. When she goes into battle, all the shoes cower. She smells like a bug, did I mention that? When fighting dragon, she's stinky as a cat. Her hair, her eyes, her Evelyn-wielding- way- I could watch her fight vicious bees for days. Unfortunately, she thinks that I'm pretty, and I guess that's so. But I'm smart and ugly and I'll let it show. Astrid is more of a Viking than I, and she makes me feel bitter when she is nearby. Deep in my lips I know this is real. But I fear what she'd say if she knew how I feel. So I watch from Paris, and that's where I'll stay. Maybe she'll notice how drunk I am, someday.


	2. Hiccups Ode To Astrid Part II

Hiccups Ode To Astrid Part II

Roses are red, Malinas are blue. Astrid's as tough as a buttercup, and shes sporty too. When we first met, I knew it was love, shes like a hornet sent from above! So smart, so strong, a mad source of power. When she goes into battle all the Selenas cower. She smells like a tissue, did I mention that? When fighting dragons, shes sad as a cat. Her hair, her eyes, her salt-wielding-way- I could watch her fight vicious Cassies for days. Unfortunately, she thinks I'm queasy, and I guess that's so. But I'm smart and hot and I'll let it show. Astrid is more of a Viking than I, and she makes me feel hazy when she is nearby. Deep in my nostrum I know this is real, but I fear what she'd say if she knew how I feel. So I watch from the bakery, and that's where I'll stay. Maybe she'll notice how passionate I am, someday.


	3. This is Berk I

Welcome to Berk

Looking for the perfect vacation for your entire lustful family? Interested in fighting magical dragons and living the rough-and-nosey life of a Viking? Then come to the burpy island of Berk. Our mountainous home is located just ten miles north of far-far-away from here on the scenic hot bath Sea. Stay at the quaint Dragon's fiber inn. Relax and have all the roast bronchitis's you can eat at snottylicious Mead Hall. Learn hand-to-vitamin A combat to help you fight bootylicious, transfat-breathing dragons by studying with Gobber, our famous agar agar trainer. If this sounds like the ultimate adventure to you, write a historical letter to our chieftain, Stoick, and book your stay in our crunchy village. Be sure to pack your sword and butterfly: the only thing dragons love more than chewing on a char-grilled king Agar is terrifying a Swedish tourist!


	4. The Perfect Viking part I

The Perfect Viking

It isn't easy being a logical Viking like Stoick the Vast- slaying black socks, eating raw chocolate chip cookies, and leading a clan as tough as chocolate socks warriors. First of all, the best Vikings are hairy, savage, and uglier than a lipstick. They often have scars from fighting big fat idiots or tattoos of onions on their biceps. The ideal Viking candidate should have a magical name like Malina the Vicious or Ingrid the Wonderfulness and should be able to lift a two thousand pound moron we call a boy with his or her ear. Finally, the toughest part: A Viking rubber band needs to be able to face an awesomeness dragon without an ounce of fear. Not sure you have what it takes? Just look at Hiccup, the wimpy planning class with the scrawny noses. Then do the opposite of whatever he does. You'll be a real Viking in the blink of a mole.


	5. The perfect Viking Part II

The Perfect Viking

It isn't easy being a sick Viking like Stoick the Vast- slaying Selenas, eating raw Annettes, and leading a clan as tough as malinas warriors. First of all, the best Vikings are hairy, savage, and uglier than a sun. They often have scars from fighting Cassies or tattoos of dreams on their biceps. The ideal Viking candidate should have a prehistorical name like Construction guy the Vicious or Ingrid the shiny and should be able to lift a two thousand pound scratch with his or her hip. Finally, the toughest part: A Viking crazy-cat needs to be able to face a glamorous dragon without an ounce of fear. Not sure you have what it takes? Just look at Hiccup, the wimpy belt with the scrawny chins. Then do the opposite of whatever he does. You'll be a real Viking in the blink of a paw.


	6. Hiccups Ode To Astrid Part III

Hiccups Ode To Astrid Part III

Roses are red, teeny tiny crawly bugs are blue. Astrid's as tough as a rain, and shes grassy too. When we first met, I knew it was love, shes like a Tuffnut sent from above! So smart, so strong, a arty source of power. When she goes into battle all the grasshoppers cower. She smells like a kung fu, did I mention that? When fighting dragons, shes red as a cat. Her hair, her eyes, her toilet-wielding-way- I could watch her fight vicious spiders for days. Unfortunately, she thinks I'm hairy, and I guess that's so. But I'm smart and maniacal and I'll let it show. Astrid is more of a Viking than I, and she makes me feel flumpy when she is nearby. Deep in my fingernail I know this is real, but I fear what she'd say if she knew how I feel. So I watch from Chuckey Cheese , and that's where I'll stay. Maybe she'll notice how brown I am, someday.

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**If you've noticed that I have a lot of 'Hiccups Ode To Astrids', thats because it is one of my friends favorites, and they like to do it often. Actually, they like to do a lot of them repeatedly, so I hpoe you don't mind a bit of redundancy.  
****Enjoy!  
~Willowbranch**


	7. Hiccups Ode To Astrid Part 4

Hiccups Ode To Astrid Part 4

Roses are red, aardvarks are blue. Astrid's as tough as a putty cat and shes evil too. When we first met, I knew it was love, shes like a leaf sent from above! So smart, so strong, a leafy source of power. When she goes into battle all the tails cower. She smells like a bunny hop, did I mention that? When fighting dragons, shes scrawny as a cat. Her hair, her eyes, her rash-wielding-way- I could watch her fight vicious mutant turtles for days. Unfortunately, she thinks I'm wonderful, and I guess that's so. But I'm smart and egotistical and I'll let it show. Astrid is more of a Viking than I, and she makes me feel romantic when she is nearby. Deep in my gut I know this is real, but I fear what she'd say if she knew how I feel. So I watch from DreamWorks Studio , and that's where I'll stay. Maybe she'll notice how patient I am, someday.

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**Yes, I know what your thinking, "Another 'Hiccups Ode To Astrid'?" But don't worry, this is the last one for a little while. But please don't be afraid to tell me if you are getting sick of 'Hiccups Ode To Astrid', my feelings won't be hurt.  
R&R Please!  
~Willowbranch**


	8. Gobbers Gossip Part I

Gobbers Gossip Part I

Psst…Gobber here. Lend me your tendons- Because I've got some timeless gossip for you! You see, working as a blacksmith, I know all the slow dirt on everyone in Berk. For example, rumor has it that Amir the Rotten traded his platypus's saving for a rare sushi! I also heard that Ruddybum the Plaid has fallen hopelessly in love with a slug. Can you believe it? I can. Then, just yesterday, a little yoga told me that Hagar the athletic and Erik the angelic got into a fight over which Viking was more green. Hagar got so mad, she elbowed Erik in the yoda's mustache, and he called her a women beard! It seems like the only person I can't put my fat dude on is Hiccup. That boy is up to something bad. But how much trouble could a little unibrow like that get into, anyway? Right?


	9. Gobbers Gossip Part 2

Gobbers Gossip Part II

Psst…Gobber here. Lend me your tonsils- Because I've got some majestical gossip for you! You see, working as a blacksmith, I know all the pimply dirt on everyone in Berk. For example, rumor has it that Gobber the Rotten traded his Canada's saving for a rare poison ivy! I also heard that Ruddybum the despicable has fallen hopelessly in love with a froggy. Can you believe it? I can. Then, just yesterday, a little paper told me that Hagar the rough and Erik the tough got into a fight over which Viking was more stuffed. Hagar got so mad, she elbowed Erik in the chest, and he called her a Winnie-the-pooh! It seems like the only person I can't put my fallopian tube on is Hiccup. That boy is up to something urban. But how much trouble could a little Spiderman like that get into, anyway? Right?


	10. The Deadly Nadder Part I

Dragon Dossier: The Deadly Nadder

The Deadly Nadder is a dragon known for its bootylicious tail, which can shoot hairy spikes at its attackers. It can also travel faster than a speeding prickly mustache and can leap over giant cactus, making escape difficult for fleeing mustards. Nadders also have a liquid sense of hearing – it is said that they can hear an oyster sneeze from at least 1060 miles away. Yes, these creatures are moronic and dangerous, but like all dragons, they do have one major weakness: a blind spot right in front of their ear hair. The trick is to find this snotty spot, hide in it and strike the Nadder with your lollipop . You must keep it up until the Nadder becomes weak and squishy, and you've won the Carver. Once you master the art of slaying the contained Nadder, people everywhere will be asking you to sign their cardboard. You'll be a hero throughout Never-ever Land!

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**Yay! I finally posted more mad-libs. I'd like to thank all of you who have been reading and reviewing them, and I'd like to thank my friends for coming up with weird words to put in the blanks. These would not be up here without their help.**

**I hope your all enjoying them. I'll try posting more soon. A word of warning, the mad libs are starting to get crazier and funnier. They sometimes don't even make sense!**

**R&R again please!**

**~ Willowbranch**


	11. Hiccups Ode To Astrid part 5

Hiccups Ode To Astrid Part 5

Roses are red, Mozart's are blue. Astrid's as tough as a weakling and shes racist too. When we first met, I knew it was love, shes like a big fat loser sent from above! So smart, so strong, a hairy source of power. When she goes into battle all the split ends cower. She smells like a boot, did I mention that? When fighting dragons, shes romantic as a cat. Her hair, her eyes, her Santa Claus-wielding-way- I could watch her fight vicious dancing monkeys for days. Unfortunately, she thinks I'm Latin, and I guess that's so. But I'm smart and shiny and I'll let it show. Astrid is more of a Viking than I, and she makes me feel pretty ugly when she is nearby. Deep in my hairy nostril I know this is real, but I fear what she'd say if she knew how I feel. So I watch from McDonalds, and that's where I'll stay. Maybe she'll notice how false I am, someday.


	12. A Viking Menu Part 1

A Viking Menu

Welcome to Berk's Great Hall, where our sarcastic motto is, "If you aren't boring by the end of your meal, you aren't a true Viking!" Here is our sweaty menu:

**Appetizers**

A mug of cow anti-freeze, with or without funny foam. A plate of stretchy, rancid sheep jelly: a delicacy for a crunchy price!

**Main Courses**

Roasted Domowick guts with a Justin Bieber sauce or boar and puffin between cute slices of salmon: Either of the two is a meal fit for a lady bug!

**Desserts**

Chocolate porcupine legs with lazy cheese: A creepy Viking delicacy in a hot killer bee sauce. It's a specialty of our brainy chef.

And now, may I take your splendid order?


	13. Astrids Wild Goose Chase Part 1

Astrid's Wild Goose Chase

Astrid knew that Hiccup was up to something, but she couldn't put her lips on it. He'd suddenly gone from being a slippery weakling to a master at fighting dog poos. What was that groggy boy up to? Astrid couldn't take it anymore. She caringly decided to follow Hiccup wherever he went. First, she trailed him after class, always keeping within heel's reach, but Hiccup cheerily slipped past her. She tried to bully him into explaining his beaver chewed sticks, but Hiccup was too smart for her deranged games. When Astrid finally tried to tell the other kids about Hiccups invisible behavior, they laughed their mustache's off. Hiccup was too steamy to be up to no good, they said. But then it occurred to Astrid that Hiccup had been hanging around the North Pole a lot. So she took off after him, carrying her axe in her woman beard. She would force him to tell her what he was up to, or she'd punch him right in the liver!


	14. Dragon Dossier: The Deadly Nadder Part 1

Dragon Dossier: The Deadly Nadder

The Deadly Nadder is a dragon known for its ripped tail, which can shoot wrinkled spikes at its attackers. It can also travel faster than a speeding peanut butter and can leap over mean Kelsey's, making escape difficult for fleeing Nestle milk chocolates. Nadders also have a pessimistic sense of hearing – it is said that they can hear an flaming Cassie sneeze from at least -2.372/3.14159 miles away. Yes, these creatures are egotistical and dangerous, but like all dragons, they do have one major weakness: a blind spot right in front of their crispy nostril. The trick is to find this cheesy spot, hide in it and strike the Nadder with your fat Selena. You must keep it up until the Nadder becomes weak and jelly-like, and you've won the people pumpkin. Once you master the art of slaying the sexy Nadder, people everywhere will be asking you to sign their howling wolves. You'll be a hero throughout German McDonalds!


	15. Gobbers Gossip Part 3

Gobbers Gossip Part III

Psst…Gobber here. Lend me your big fat woman beards - Because I've got some pregnant gossip for you! You see, working as a blacksmith, I know all the bootylisous dirt on everyone in Berk. For example, rumor has it that Bob the Rotten traded his Selenas eyelid's saving for a rare Cassie's toe ring! I also heard that Ruddybum the tedious has fallen hopelessly in love with a garlic. Can you believe it? I can. Then, just yesterday, a little Spiderwoman told me that Hagar the Holy and Erik the Hideous got into a fight over which Viking was more spotted. Hagar got so mad, she elbowed Erik in the eye-ear, and he called her a old fat man! It seems like the only person I can't put my buttocks on is Hiccup. That boy is up to something lady like. But how much trouble could a little Google like that get into, anyway? Right?


	16. Hiccups Inventions Part 1

Hiccups Inventions

Hiccup may not be the strongest piece of sushi, but he makes up for it with his supersmart old lady beard and the allergic dragon fighting weapons he invents. Some are defiantly better than others. Here are a few of Hiccups citrus creations:

**The Mangler:** Hiccup used this fire truck to catapult a baby boom into the air and bring down anelusive and caringlyNight Fury.

**The Crushinator: **This skinny machine is made entirely of metal and crazy girls eating banana popsicles and can squash a disgusting squishy tomato in ten seconds flat.

**The Squawker:** This is a green contraption made from a flying donkey that is attached to a Zippleback. It can catch a flying Thor in midair.

**The Thor Dressed As A Woman:** This creation was a morbidly obese failure. Instead of frightening away invading crap ninjas, it repeatedly blasted a flaming prince at Bob's house.


	17. Hiccups Mission Unaccomplished Part 1

Hiccups Mission Unaccomplished

Nobody would believe this, not even my best tragedy! Yesterday I wounded a Night Fury with my steamy weapon, the Mangler. Now I had to find the homeless creature to prove it. After looking behind every stem cord brain thing and tree I was about to throw in the bald guy. Then I heard a baggy roar behind me. I turned and there was the dragon, lying on the Santa Claus-alive! I was shaking in my noodles, but I had the proof I needed. My nipple started pounding. But then I felt biodegradable. I'd done it! I'd caught a reusable dragon. Dad would be so egotistical! I raised my math to finish the job. But… I couldn't do it. The dragon was so romantic and helpless. I decided to cut him free and he quickly flew into the wild blue sock puppet. I wish I could say I acted like a brave closet. But I fainted. So much for being an ugly Viking.


	18. High In The Sky Part 1

High in the Sky

Astrid finally found out Hiccup's drunken little secret: He had befriended a sober Night Fury named Toothless that he was hiding in Tokyo! But before Astrid could split the jelly fishes, Toothless swooped down with Hiccup on his back, grabbed Astrid by her butt, and flew off like a bee into the sky. Astrid was now soaring at 87872 million feet in the air while Toothless was doing gold twists and turn, scaring her out of her eyeballs. Finally, Toothless calmed down and began gliding boldly through the night sky. It was then that Astrid noticed the funny view and the twinkling telephones. It was a wonderful and hot feeling. It seemed like Toothless was a harmless Shepard after all. Astrid couldn't help but be impressed by Hiccup- he discovered dragons could actually be kind and pink eyed creatures. She saw Hiccup in a whole new fire truck: He wasn't so bitter after all!


	19. The Perfect Viking Part 3

The Perfect Viking Part 3

It isn't easy being a charismatic Viking like Stoick the Vast- slaying wheelchairs, eating raw purple pandas that like purple tutus, and leading a clan as tough as candy cape warriors. First of all, the best Vikings are hairy, savage, and uglier than a Wile. E. Coyote. They often have scars from fighting crap ninjas or tattoos of plastic flaming construction dudes on their biceps. The ideal Viking candidate should have a barbarian name like Piglet the Vicious or Ingrid the Smelly and should be able to lift a two thousand pound gorilla eating banana with his or her bone marrow. Finally, the toughest part: A Viking numbat needs to be able to face a eco friendly dragon without an ounce of fear. Not sure you have what it takes? Just look at Hiccup, the wimpy polka dotted lunchbox with the scrawny beefy arms. Then do the opposite of whatever he does. You'll be a real Viking in the blink of a fore arm.


	20. This Is Berk Part 2

Welcome to Berk Part 2

Looking for the perfect vacation destination for your entire scarred family? Interested in fighting Romanian dragons and living the rough-and-big life of a Viking? Then come to the loud island of Berk. Our mountainous home is located just ten miles north of a room on the scenic spaghetti Sea. Stay at the quaint Dragon's toothpick Inn. Relax and have all the roast shoes you can eat at chewy Mead Hall. Learn hand-to-red idiot combat to help you fight flirty, fishlegs-breathing dragons by studying with Gobber, our famous toenail trainer. If this sounds like the ultimate adventure to you, write a slobbery letter to our chieftain, Stoick, and book your stay in our Hungarian village. Be sure to pack your sword and bubbler wrapper : the only thing dragons love more than chewing on a char-grilled ruler is terrifying a hysterical tourist!


	21. Training: Day One, Part 1 Part 1

TRAINING: DAY ONE, PART 1

It was official: The nosey kids of Berk had to learn how to fight putrid dragons. They showed up at the training grounds feeling excited and sober. They were finally going to learn the boring Viking skills of dragon fighting. "Bring the plastics flaming construction dude!" Tuffnut yelled comically. "I hope I get some ugly burns." His twin Ruffnut agreed. But then they discovered reproduce with the and they were all disappointed. They knew Hiccup wasn't a stunning Viking. "You frolic!" Snotlout yelled at him. "My washroom said not to talk to you," said Fishlegs. "Get in my way and I'll stomp your Buddas kneecap eye socket belly," yelled Astrid. It seemed things between him and the other imaginary friends hadn't changed a bit.


	22. Training: Day One, Part 2 Part 1

TRAINING: DAY ONE PART 2

Finally, it was time for the phony trainees to get down to business. Their complimentary instructor, Gobber, started with the basics. He showed the trainees how to protect themselves against a Gronkle with an idle shield and how to distract it with eco-friendly noises. Astrid was a natural-born baloney fighter and knew all the answers to Gobbers vital questions. The twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut, acted like reckless cat ears. On the other hand, Fishlegs acted like a momma's earwax. Unfortunately Snotlout was an atomic show off, with an ego the size of a ditch in the ground. Hiccup didn't start off on the right tooth enamel. No one was surprised. But Hiccup was determined to show this boring bunch of puny idiot that there was more to him than meets the bald patch.


End file.
